I head out tomorrow morning. It's been a different trip than I had expected, but I guess I didn't really know what to expect. I'm not really sad to be leaving, but I will always miss being in Russia. It's a second home, and I think that really came through on this trip. I didn't go through culture shock hardly at all; rather, I felt pretty bi-cultural from the beginning. There was really only one moment when I got really upset at the system. Maybe two. But both of those experiences have been made up for by the kindness expressed to me by the same people that were just operating in the system.
I spent the past week sick in bed. Literally. So I feel a bit out of touch with the program, since I missed the last two days of class and our farewell banquet. Luckily, I pulled it together (with the help of some antibiotics for what may have been strep throat) for the final day of our "conference" and performances. We all were told from the very beginning that we'd have to give a short talk about something at a round table at the closing of the program. I talked about linguistics and the unknown knowledge of a native speaker. I think it went over pretty well, especially since I still had a low-grade fever. The we had our performances. My group played a song by the rock group Kino, and I accompanied on guitar. We also did a short play with another group, and I had a pretty big part. I hadn't memorized my lines, but neither had anyone else, so I didn't feel so bad. It was actually a lot of fun. I miss doing theater and playing guitar, so it's nice to drag out the old skills once in a while. Maybe that's why I like teaching so much. It's like acting because you have to perform!
Anyways, having been sick and having to miss some important moments made me remember what life in Russia has taught me. It's taught me that you have to roll with the punches. There's just not a lot that you can control sometimes, and in America we have a lot more under our control. We can choose whether we buy organic, or whether we'll take out student loans, or whether we'll drive or fly for our vacation. But here those choices aren't realistic options. And so you're just left with the consequences of what is chosen by some powers above you. Because there really isn't a lot that's in our control. What does it matter if you check in early for a flight if it could be canceled at the last minute? Will that mean the end of the world? Probably not. It will work itself out. And there's a certain peace and zen that comes with realizing that there are very few things that will actually mean the end of the world for you. So long as you have your life and your friends and your family, the rest truly will work itself out. It may not be what you had hope and dreamed for, but it's really going to be ok. And so you might as well enjoy the ride. It's like a roller coaster but with a blindfold. Which could be terrifying, or it could be the most fun you've ever had.
More pictures later. Then videos when I'm back in the US!
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