The title of the post is a Russian saying to indicate that you take the first two shots without much of a break. But it's also a reference to the fact that I'm publishing two posts so close to each other. Lately I've been having a hard time finding energy to do much when I get home, probably because I'm spending so much energy elsewhere. Looking back, I think I just forget how exhausting it is to be in a different place. Sure, I'm used to Russia, and speak the language fluently, but there's still just a little extra brain power that goes into being here. So when I get home, I lock my door and pretend I'm in America. Honestly, sometimes I forget where I am until the phone rings or I walk outside. It's nice to have a little sanctuary, but I do wish I could do more at home than just watch bad American TV shows.
So what's been going on that's wearing me out? Mostly good things: hanging out with friends, jogging, yoga, and doing my job. Jennifer and I got the weekend off to a wonderful start, back at the karaoke bar. I stayed out a little later than I should have because my friend Roman ended up coming out though he said he was going to stay home. He brought along a friend of his, a girl named Anastasia, or Nastya for short. She's a singer, and has really good English.
One of the best (and sometimes worst) parts about Russian culture is the sense of the collective. It's great to feel like you're a part of something, but that also means that you have to give up a little bit of your self-interest for the group. Thus, I stay out later than I'd like because it's hard to break away from the group. There's a funny Soviet film that has this message in what seems like a joke. But in every joke there's a little bit of truth. The main character is visiting the Caucasus to learn about the culture, gathering stories and toasts. The locals are all happy to oblige with the latter, telling stories that end with a moral as the toast. The relevant one is this:
"There lived in the mountains a flock of wild birds, who flew every fall to warmer regions. And so, when the whole flock flew to the south to winter, one proud little bird said, 'As for me, I'm going to flight straight to the sun!'. And the bird began to go up higher and higher, but quickly its wings got burned, and it fell to the very bottom of the deepest canyon. So, let's drink to this: no matter how high any of us fly, may we never break off from the collective!" (and the main character famously starts crying, because he has a hard time holding his liquor, and says "I feel so bad for the little bird...")
I've been thinking lately about how similar Russians and Americans are, in so many ways. Part of this is perhaps because of the similar stories of national identity we've been told for the past 80 years or so. Part of it is because both countries are so physically big, and somewhat isolationist. And part of it could just be because people everywhere aren't so different. But both Russians and Americans, very generally speaking, like a challenge, and feel that they can overcome many difficulties. We both proud nationalities, maybe even a little arrogant at times. But the key difference I feel at times is that Americans are individualistic, while Russians are collectivistic (ooh, autocorrect even says that's a word!). And this one difference is a big enough one to overcome all other similarities we may have. And in fact, those parts of our national character that are similar are based off of this difference, which makes it sometimes difficult to see the similarities. It's like we've both come to the same conclusion, but by very different means, and don't recognize that the conclusion is the same.
This also plays itself out in group dynamics in the students I'm here with. It can't just be an American thing: I remember my summer trip to Moscow in 2009 felt very much like a solid group experience. But then again, we were mostly people with lots of in-country experience. And I think the students who have more cultural proficiency get the group thing a lot better. It's uncomfortable for many Americans to give up something of themselves: their ability to do their own thing, their ability to express their own opinion, and their individuality. But, as experience shows time and time again, when in Russia, do as the masses do. And better yet: make an American collective to take care of each other.
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